It goes without saying there is a lot that can be learned from past experiences. They say if you don’t learn from your past you are bound to repeat it.
I don’t know about you but there are certain experiences I do not have to or want to repeat. It is so important to see the takeaways from the things you have gone through.
These experiences could be good or challenging. Either way, there is wisdom to be gained moving forward.
Here are 10 things to learn from your experiences:
- Growth
You may want to ask yourself the following questions:
- Did it make me stronger?
- Did it make me weaker?
- Do I now have greater insight in the event it happens again?
These types of questions will help you to reevaluate things you may have missed. Remember the time you took a trip out of state with the kids and you realized it would have been better to leave late at night so they would sleep most of the night instead of being anxious, irritable, and hungry on the 8 hour flight to Hawaii?
I am sure there were many lessons learned on that trip.
Or the time you went to a party you really didn’t want to go to an it turned out to a great time? I am sure you learned that sometimes you just have to get off the couch and get out of the house.
Be still when necessary and move when it is time to move.
Your growth has taught you the difference.
- Intuition
This can be a biggy! There are so many times when I felt in my gut not to do something or go somewhere but then I rationalize (rational-lies) why I should do it anyway.
Generally, I tend to realize it the whole way through the journey. I heard someone say,
“If it doesn’t feel right, it ain’t right”
The stress I could have saved myself would have been endless.
Learning to trust that inner voice teaches you to love who you are and what you believe.
- Speak Up
It would be great if we were all really outgoing with a quick wit. Let me assure you those traits are not natural to most.
While I consider myself to be outgoing, I do not have that quick comeback when someone wrongs me. Sometimes I feel like the cat caught my tongue.
If this is you, practice. You are your best defense against harm and danger. Remember, you teach people how to treat you.
You must voice your opinion, or someone will give you theirs. Your voice is so important.
Do not let a moment go by feeling like you wish you said something in an important situation. You will surprise yourself.
The more you do it, the better you will get.
- Being consistent
Consistency is the key. There has been time in my past and honestly sometimes in my present when I get impatient.
I can look back on my experiences when things really begin to happen in my life and they all centered around being consistent and staying on track.
Learning that consistency is not about being motivated as motivation can change from day to day.
It is more about,
“I will until_______”
You fill in the blank.
Think back on the time when you lost the weight. What is different between then and now?
Consistency is about doing the work regardless how you feel, if others agree with you, or if you are not seeing immediate results.
Eventually you will.
Sounds like a play on words but let me explain. Trust your judgement. Other people, while well-meaning, will try to tell you what you should believe.
People appear to have your best interest at heart but only YOU know what is best for you.
It may not be best for you to get your degree at this point in your life. What may be best for you is to start that business that is burning deep in your soul. You have done your research, studied the market, and now the time is now. Go for it!
At the end of the day, you must feel good about the decisions you make. You and only you.
- Let Go and Move On
Holding on to past mistakes keeps you living in the past. Someone may have hurt you deeply and you still carry that pain.
This is the perfect example or taking one step forward and two steps back.
You are choosing to weigh your life down with the weight of 20 years ago. It occupies a part of your heart you cannot make available for someone else.
Hurt, grief, and disappointment can be traumatic. Fortunately, we have so many resources to help move us to the other side of the mountain.
Remember, the only way out of the valley is to go up.
Think about the time you finally decided to get out of the bad relationship. It was not easy and it may have been painful but you climbed out and moved on with your life,
The freedom that comes from releasing that burden is huge.
Keep in mind, the benefits will be your greatest reward.
- Self-love is the best love
Before you start sending hateful darts, let me explain. I raised four amazing (not perfect) kiddos. This was no easy task but completely rewarding.
During most of their childhood, I found myself neglecting who I was a person. I gained a significant amount of weight, and it really affected my self-esteem.
This was no fault of theirs but what it did was show them this was the example of what motherhood looked like.
It was not until I realized this was not the role model I wanted to give to them that I decided to lose weight and focus on myself for a change without neglecting them.
They soon realized there were other things about their mom they did not know and they grew to love the love me as much as I did.
It was a win-win for all of us.
Self-love is not selfish. It is identifying who you are and what makes you happy. The best you is best for EVERYBODY.
- Forgiveness
This can be the most difficult thing to learn from your past. There are those of you who have had unspeakable things happen to you.
Here’s the thing: Unforgiveness does not hurt the other person. It hurt you.
Generally, the person you are unwilling to forgive is not thinking about the pain they have caused you and have moved on with their life.
I am not saying you need to be front and center in a relationship with them. Get the help you need to help you learn how to forgive and remove that pain.
Unforgiveness causes stress and occupies your heart that is not free for someone else.
It keeps your past in your present.
9. Do not wait to make changes
Procrastination will wear you down day after day. We have all experienced it.
In the book, The 5 Second Rule, Mel Robbins, uses counting backwards from 5 (5,4,3,2,1) to reduce and hopefully eliminate procrastination.
We waste so much time thinking about what we need to do instead of just doing it.
When you think about your past experiences, remember the times when you just bit the bullet and bravely moved forward with a task.
The joy in just doing it cannot be beat.
Starting this blog was one of those times for me. The crazy thing is, I love to write and I have learned a lot.
Use those experiences to help you now in at a time when you feel stuck.
You may be wanting to take a trip but you are too afraid to ask for time off work or to do the research into what it may cost.
Do it now. There is no perfect time to make a change.
10. Look at me Now
You’ve come a long way baby! Whether you are 25 or 55, you are not where you started.
Each step you made brought you here.
Sure, we all still have a look more work to do, but that is okay.
Hopefully, we grow through what we go through.
Love where you are even if you are not where you want to be
Continue to plan to move forward and take small steps
The life you have lived is a combination of the choices and decision you made for yourself. You chose that relationship, how you take care of yourself, and whether you are willing to keep moving on.
Life is not meant to be lived standing still, it is meant to me lived moving.
Decide which direction is the best for you.
Only you know. If you need to pray about it, pray about it. If you need to meditate, meditate.
Taking the time to look at how much you have learned can help you appreciate your life in a whole new way.
The best way to use what you have learned it to share it with someone who is still growing.
We do not live on an island but in a village of people with experiences to share and grow together.
Each micro step you have taken has led you to the massive life you live.